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Friends - Making & Keeping, Old & New

 Photo Credit: Gwennypics

Today is the birthday of my oldest and dearest friend, a friend I've had since I was in first grade and one I only see once every year or two (or three) these days.  With a couple exceptions, it seems that my dearest friends are all at a great geographical distance from me.  This isn't surprising, nor is it even that unusual.  I came across a great blog this weekend, MWF Seeking BFF, the online chronicle of a girl in Chicago seeking BFFs because, like me (like many of us, apparently), her oldest and closest are also scattered far way.

Thinking about Friendship in regard to my own future in Vienna, my mind goes in two different directions....

Making New Friends
I had a similar longing to search for a few local BFFs myself a few months ago.  When Kiefer and I moved to our new suburban neighborhood, I thought I'd maybe connect with a few of that gals I have worked with in the area - built in friends!  Alas, I didn't actually do anything to make that happen.  I'm not the most outgoing, social, put-myself-out-there kinda gal and I'm a little nervous about what that means about being in an entirely new country with no connections and not even an acquaintance.   I'm not a joiner, a meet-and-greeter, but in my dreams, I overcome my natural reserve upon arriving in Vienna and make myself find ways to meet people and make those connections. 

Keeping Old Friends
If/How/Will I keep in touch with my current friends when on the other side of the pond to keep those friendships alive and well?  Actually, I imagine it'll be fairly similar to the current state of communication, which is, I must shamefully admit, not the best (regular phone calls are not my forte either).  Gosh, I'm not making a very good case for myself as a friend!  Email, Facebook....I'm good at those.


I was just about to launch into the Go Me phase of the post, which is to say the I can do it!  I can connect and re-connect with  friends NOW, while I'm here, enjoy my time left with the people here! spiel.  I'd like to believe that pep talk would send me running to the phone to set up a few friend dates for this coming weekend.  I have always wanted to be That Girl, you know, the girl that makes friends quickly and easily wherever she goes.  And then, once I become That Girl, it'll be easy to move to a new city in a new country and make friends lickity-split.

But then I remember who I am.  I have a new personal commandment that I adopted from The Happiness Project, which is to Be Caroline.  Accept my true likes and dislikes and not waste time kicking myself for not being something that I really would like to be but just really am not.

I think I was hoping to have the answer all wrapped up in a nice bow at the end of this post, that just writing about it would inspire a brilliant idea or I'd find a quick link to "How to Make Friends Easily & Quickly - in 30 days or your money back," but I'll just have to accept that it's something I'm going to have to think about longer and harder.

And I'll end the post on a positive note by devoting this closing moment to my oldest and dearest friend today.  Happy Birthday, I love you!
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TV Online

I just had a sudden thought (and I'm hoping I'm right)....I'll be able to watch The Gilmore Girls via Hulu or the WB or wherever it is I watch it online now when I live in Europe, as long as I have an Internet connection, right!?!?!?

You can say what you want about this crazy technological world, but if it brings me to Stars Hollow to visit with Lorelai and Rory on a regular basis, I'm a happy girl.
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Clark, Freud, Edwards and Me

My alma mater, Clark University, a small, liberal arts college in Worcester, Massachusetts, was the site of Sigmund Freud's introduction - and that of psychoanalysis -to America in 1909 .  Freud, the Viennese neurologist who was known at the time in Europe but not so much in the United States, delivered a series of five lectures on his theory of psychoanalysis at the school.  They are known today as the "Clark Lectures."  It was Freud's first and only trip to America and apparently there is a statue of Freud right in the middle of campus, although I don't remember it at all! (note: I just found out it was erected in 1999, well after my tenure there.  Thank goodness. I thought I was losing my mind!)  

I was reminded of this fact, one that I no doubt learned when I was a prospective student of the university, in the novel I am currently reading, The Little Book by Selden Edwards.  The story spans generations and takes place at different times in Northern California, the Boston-area, and Vienna.  Sounds familiar, a little like a map of my life.  I don't remember choosing the book for that reason and I certainly didn't know that Clark would come into play in the story - it is a small school, not one that you ever hear about in general conversation or in the news - so it feels like a strangely personal connection.  I love how that happens sometimes.
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Here's to Mistakes

I'm foregoing the Friday Five for a bit.  Turns out that I don't actually DO five things each week toward the big move....yet.  Or, I should say that I don't do five NEW things each week toward the move and I can only say "one more German lesson down" or "cleaned another closet" so many times.  Boring!

I was all gung-ho about it for awhile and thought it would be a great feature for An American Girl, but it was becoming more a source of anxiety than a motivator for me.  Rather than enjoying the idea of blogging and actually feeling inspired to write, I was filled throughout the week with thoughts of "what am I doing, what can I tell everyone I'm doing?  But wait, I'm not really doing anything, but I have to think of something."  Oh boy. 

So, until such time as I am actually in the throes of doing new and enlightening things all the time because the move is getting close at hand and I have to be, I'm going back to the original plan.  Blog a few times a week, sharing thoughts, ideas, pondering issues or tidbits I have heard and working on my writing. 

I have to say that this whole exercise - blogging - has been pretty interesting and challenging.  It feels odd to try things like the Friday Five, like searching for a good look & feel, like posting writing that I consider to be unpolished, all in a public forum where others can see the missteps, the messiness.  And I'm actually inviting others to see the process!

I'm one of those people that doesn't do new things in front of people.  Ever.  Not in front of strangers.  Not in front of people I know.  I've never learned to play pool because I'm terrified of making an ass out of myself.  I don't play board games or card games because these aren't things you can  learn on your own and perfect before taking the show on the road.  

I have not perfected the art of writing, the art of blogging.  Nor will I ever, I fear, but I am strangely accepting of this.  Maybe it's easier because I never see any of you, dear readers, while sitting at my kitchen table with my laptop as an intermediary.  It's a lot safer than being in a crowded bar with people staring over my shoulder as I make attempt after attempt to actually get a ball in the pocket at the pool table.  But there is still a sheepishness when I make a mistake or decide that something isn't working and I have to change things.

Ah well, here's to mistakes.  And learning to love them, laugh at them and move on.
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A Glass of Wine and Berry Pie

I just delivered a presentation to students in the Library Technology program at Diablo Valley College on public libraries and public relations and how public relations can affect public library funding. Exciting stuff!

And perhaps not the most exciting topic for a blog, but don't worry, I'm not going to bore you with those particular details.  All I'm going to say is ...... aaaaaah.

Aaaaah....I feel such a HUGE sense of relief!  This presentation was the last of a bunch of big(ish) projects I had on my work to-do list this month and at this very moment I feel as though a very large weight has been lifted from my shoulders. At this very moment, as I sit in my living room with a glass a wine and my laptop, a chic flick on in the background because my husband is out and can't make fun of me, dinner in the oven and berry pie waiting for dessert, I feel perfectly relaxed and happy.   Aaaah. 
Cheers! 

Photo Credit: Michele Ferretti



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The Friday Five (Freitag funf)

This week's Five.... 

1) Vienna Visit in May ~ plane tickets purchased and apartment rental secured.  We used the service VRBO to find the rental and so far it has been an easy and pleasant experience (thanks, MJ, for the recommendation).  The apartment is on on Max Winter Platz in District 2.

2) Sorted through books ~ Prior to our move  six months ago, I weeded my book collection (librarian-speak for getting rid of unwanted books) so it was rather difficult to take another pass.  I keep books.  I re-read books.  I have some books that have sentimental value. Some that I just plain love and with which I can and will never part.  All this said, I was able to reduce my collection a bit.  I am also consoled by the thought that a friend of ours is willing and able to store boxes of books for us for an indefinite period, so I don't have to weed aggressively.  I have also been advised to keep a good collection; that I may long for the comfort of favorite books in English once I'm living in another country, surrounded by another language.

3) The Closet.  I also took a first pass at my weeding my wardrobe.  This is a very challenging task for me, although I will brag that I have been very good at keeping my clothing collection current for the past few years.  Current does not equal small, unfortunately.  Thing is...I have a lot of clothes, but I really do wear them. I swear. This is a big one for me.  There will be oh so much more on this topic to come, I can assure you.

4) After a 2-3 week hiatus, I just completed another German lesson on the Rosetta Stone.  I'm a little overwhelmed at the moment, mostly with possessive pronouns and still a little lost on learning/knowing the gender of nouns (it's important to know that to get the correct form of the pronoun).  Learning the language will require much more time and attention that I've been giving it as of late.  Must work on this.

5) I'm trying to do what I can to get An American Girl out there and to establish a broad, interesting and interested audience, share with others and have a forum for writing and learning.  This week, I spent time in the blogosphere, looking for other blogs, commenting, linking, making connections.  I've also been thinking about my content and approach and how to not only write the blips and blurts of what I'm doing, but widening my scope, making it more relevant for others.  Give people a reason to want to read beyond just wanting to check up on my progress.  As I figure it out, I thank everyone who is already here for reading and hope that if you like An American Girl, that you'll share it with others and spread the word.
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The Family that Blogs Together....

My husband has his own blog, Dangerously Hardcore, which talks primarily about health and fitness (yes, we are the Modern Blogging Family).  He posted a story the other day entitled Sacrifice that really struck a chord.  

Admittedly, I watch more TV, partied a little harder in my youth, am slightly addicted to Facebook, and cannot make the same connections between quantum mechanics and consciousness, molecular biology and muscle growth as he does, but his post gives a little insight into our small family, our priorities, what is considered "normal" around our household. And this may give further insight into how it is that we feel okay taking on something so new, making such a huge move.
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To do: confirm dates & buy plane tickets

DONE. It's official. 2 weeks in Europe for our honeymoon.  Vienna here we come (and England, too)!  I'm so excited I can hardly stand it!

Neither Kiefer nor I have flown internationally.  The first thing he asks me once we've got the flights confirmed....."what the heck are we going to do on a plane for 10 hours?"


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Friday, yes. Five, no.

I only worked 2 1/2 days this week and spent the rest of the time at home on the couch.  I didn't get a whole lot done from my living room perch, but I wasn't feeling so hot so my lack of productivity hasn't bothered me.  It does mean, however, that I don't have much to report today and definitely not a whole Five Things. I did try a bit of German one day, but Rosetta Stone didn't take to my funny, froggy cold-voice, so I deserted that exercise.  On the plus side, I've had a lot of time to read and have gotten lost in a book in a way I haven't in quite some time (The Swan Thieves by Elizabeth Kostova) and that is a pure joy.  Also....

**We continue our honeymoon planning.  Lo and behold, Kiefer has friends who live in Sussex, England.  In a 600 year-old castle.  And we're invited! So, the trip is shaping up to be a week in England and a week in Vienna.  No complaints here!

 ** In the midst of all the didn't do's this week, there was one big DID.  I submit my first article contribution to DivineCaroline!  If you're interested, here's a direct link to the story....have a read. 

I am feeling better today, but I think I'll head back to the couch for a bit.  Just one more evening.  I've got the movie Before Sunrise to watch.  I'm hoping I can get over my cellular-level dislike of Ethan Hawke enough to enjoy the movie.  It's set in Vienna and that's what I want to see!
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Honeymoon in Vienna

I've been home all day today, feeling sickly.  It's been all around me - at work, at home - and I think I'm finally succumbing, although I am hoping that by laying very low today and most of tomorrow, I'll feel better.  My brother will be in town from L.A. tomorrow night and I don't want to feel bad for the evening he's here!

I'm not so good with just lying around so while I did sleep a little, mostly I read and finished the book I've been working through and spent time searching online for flights to Vienna.

We're going to Vienna!! Not the move, but the pre-move visit to check it out.  Our Honeymoon.  In May.  It's quite soon and we've got to move quickly with our planning, but tickets skyrocket in June, so we decided to go for it.  I just got approval from work for a couple weeks off in early May and the planning has begun.  We haven't purchased anything yet, but did some good research today so I'm feeling very excited, despite being tired and achey.

We're also thinking about hotels vs. vacation rentals vs. other lodging possibilities.   Any recommendations?  Has anyone heard of/used CouchSurfing?
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The Friday Five (Freitag funf)

Yes, you are in the right place!  Yes, I changed it again.  Yes,  I do realize that I cannot, should not be changing the format so often.  I don't want to run you off with impatient thoughts of me as a wacky, flaky girl.  But I just wasn't happy with the look and feel of An American Girl; it didn't feel like me and this is, well, supposed to be all about me and what I'm going through this year.  It's important to me that my blog reflect who I am.  So I changed it again.  One last time.  This is it...promise.

And, since it's Friday again (already?), it's time for....

The Friday Five/Freitag funf

1.) Added a feed for the Austrian Times to my iGoogle page to read the news every day .  One of the front page articles this week makes me nervous, BZO Calls for Tougher Immigration Laws.  More on that later.

2.) Spent Sunday afternoon walking around San Francisco with Kiefer.  Bright and sunny, but windy...typical San Francisco.  We ventured through a new (to us) neighborhood...Polk Street.  We walked nearly the entire length, from City Hall up to Russian Hill, not quite all the way down to the Wharf.  Lots of different people enjoying their coffee, their pedicures, their beer and the USA v. Canada Olympic Hockey Game at the local bars.  Saw my friend's friend's flower shop, Cherries, but it was closed, so I enjoyed via a peek through the window.

3.) Started a Story Ideas notebook for possible writing topics - keep it with me at all times to log random thoughts, ideas, connections that pop into my head.  I've always thought my biggest block to writing was ideas.  Now I've got ideas on the page but I have to actually begin the writing.

4.) Left a message for my old landlord in Oakland to see if he has any vacant studio apartments he'd be willing to let us occupy for a few months.  No word yet.  I'm hoping that's not a bad sign.

5.) Started taking photos of furniture to sell on Craigslist.  I wasn't kidding last week.....if anyone in the Bay Area wants to buy a crescent-moon shaped, light-blue leather couch....look no further!
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A Different Approach to Spring Cleaning

I find that I am looking at everything in my house in a new light, through a new filter.  It's almost as if I'm giving everything a sideways glance.  You, yeah you, Jamie Oliver cookbook over there in the cookbook pile.  Do you have what it takes to make the cut for Vienna?  I mean, I love you and all and it is true that you've been with me for years.  You have fed me well at times, but I really don't use you very much these days. Yes, you're autographed, which reminds me of meeting your author.  But there wasn't anything terribly memorable about the meeting, other than how long it took to get through the line at the book signing.  So, what's it going to be?

And so it goes, back and forth.  The big purge hasn't actually begun yet, but I find that I am spending a good deal of time making arguments for and against things in my mind already.  I fear being too harsh, getting rid of too much.  My natural bent is not toward sentimentality, but I don't want to tip the scale too far in the other direction and end up in Vienna with nothing of my past.

Then again, I also have a great fear of shipping charges, so I'll have to find a balance somehow.
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