Say it isn't so

Say it isn't so

I was blog-surfing last night.  I came across a blog by a young gal who spent part of last year as an au pair in Vienna.  It was funny, interesting, a little sad (the au pair job didn't work out and she's now back home).  I was enjoying my read and all was going along fine until I came across a line, something about .... access to Diet Coke being extremely limited.  Um.  Why haven't I considered this?  Please. Somebody.  Tell me this isn't so.

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The $5 Bill Game

The $5 Bill Game

A few weeks ago, I sat in my doctor's office, flipping through a magazine.  It was just after New Year's Day and the cover articles were appropriately promising...."30 Days to a New You," "5 Ways to Lose 5 Pounds in 5 Days," and the requisite, "10 Steps to Save More Money This Year Than You Ever Have Before."

Silly though I pretend to think these are, I will admit I have a weak spot for bite-sized self-help articles.  If you pair the self-improvement aspect with a to-do list, or 10 steps, I'm a goner.  I rarely follow through with such silliness, of course, usually because they're made up of  recycled information, already read, already tried, but I can't stop myself from peeking... just once more...just in case.

That day, I found it.  A small little gem.  Something new in the "10 Steps to Save More Money" piece.  The $5 Bill Game (my name, not the original author's.....I wanted to give it a little something extra to make it more fun for myself).  When you find yourself with a $5 bill - if the cashier includes one in your change at the coffee shop or the grocery store - put it aside.  Save it.  Every $5 bill.  Every time.

And so I am, although it's a little slow-going.  It seems I'd gotten more in the habit of using my handy check card than cash in the past couple years.  But I've made an effort to get back to the cash standard, if only to be able to play my game.  

I do realize I will not fund my Vienna move solely with saved $5 bills.  I have no grand illusions, but there is something so satisfying about the accumulation of them in my specially designated $5 Bill Savings purse.  It's like a grown up piggy bank.  And much more satisfying than checking my bank account online and watching a number on the screen oh-so-slowly increase in my savings account.  Real money is so much more fun than virtual money.

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I definitely need sweaters

I definitely need sweaters

Crazy weather in the Bay Area lately.  It is the rainy season, so the downpours are no surprise, but the thunder and lightening that accompany them are.  Temperatures aren't low, but everything is wet, windblown, dank, and dark, which sets a chill in my bones.  My house is cold, the library where I work is cold, there is no sun, and I can't get warm.

Compare this to Vienna, where it is currently 21 degrees and snowing, and I feel silly complaining about the
"cold."  I lived for many years in New England.  I know cold. I don't mind cold.  I'm just not prepared for cold, sartorially-speaking.

My Northern California cold weather wardrobe consists of lots of thin, layering sweaters worn one over the other. I'm not even sure you can call them sweaters, but that's how they advertise them here.  I once owned a dresser full of thick, effective sweaters in every color of the rainbow and a variety of styles and designs.  Ah, how I miss them now.

So, I'm considering a sweater investment this year - a real, honest-to-goodness, keeps you warm sweater - and I'm using Vienna as the excuse.  I debate this purchase each year and put it off, thinking I just need to get through a short time of cold here and it's not worth spending the money.  But I will need sweaters next year, so why not start now?

This does conflict with the other goals of not spending money or increasing the number of possessions we need to bring with us, so I've got a dilemma.  Hmmmm.... one won't hurt, right - one beautiful, substantial sweater?  I can wear it on the trip to Vienna and save the packing space.  And stock up once I get there.

This gets me thinking.....how many pair of shoes is too many to ship overseas?  Uh oh.

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Ich heisse Caroline. Wie heisst du?

Ich heisse Caroline. Wie heisst du?

First lesson in Beginning German at the Piedmont Adult School this week. My name is Caroline. What is your name? But I already knew that.

Kiefer and I attended the first of 10 weekly German classes on Wednesday. I like the instructor and there are six students in the class. It's going to be pretty rudimentary for me, covering things I already know (alphabet, numbers, basic phrases) and I was, at first, a little disappointed. But I've figured out what the major lesson will be for me. To be in the moment. To have to listen to an actual person asking me a question I can't predict in a language I don't know and formulate a response for that real, live person, right then. And to do this with different people - different voices, different inflections, different questions.

I studied Latin and French in high school, but don't recall being put on the spot. Perhaps I've blocked it out. Classes were larger and the work focused on reading and writing, reciting already translated answers rather than having to think on my feet. I earned good grades, but nothing stuck.

My tendency is to continue in this way. I'm good at hunkering down with a text book and barreling through conjugations and declensions. I excel at listening to language lessons and talking back to the computer to practice pronunciation. All of that can be done very nicely in my head, in my home, in my comfort zone.

I've said "Ich heisse Caroline" many times to myself and I've asked the computer its name about as often. I felt completely different saying the phrase and asking the question in class.

But, to get the alphabet and numbers down in 10 weeks isn't fast enough for me, for us, so we're using a different approach - class, Rosetta Stone, and we're hoping to find someone to do a weekly German-only-dinner with us. Holy @!#$#, that seems scary.

Too much? Too many approaches at once? I have no idea, but I suppose we'll see where we are in 10 weeks.

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Frohes Neues Jahr

Frohes Neues Jahr

Birthday Indulgence 2010 - Red Velvet Cheesecake.

Because my birthday is so close to the beginning of the calendar year, I often think of IT as my very own New Year's Day. This gives me an extra 11 days to settle into self reflection, review the previous year and consider resolutions or goals. The big day always comes, though, and as the beautiful red cake above illustrates, that day is today.

2010 is quite a year for those goals, I'd say, so here goes......

• SHARE. Those who know me well know I'm a rather tight-lipped sort. When I share about life, be it the tiny details or the big news, I tend to do so once things have begun or, more likely, after the fact. But this project, this blog, heck, this move, won't work that way. I can't make connections, develop relationships, build trust without first being open and sharing.

• DON'T LIVE EXCLUSIVELY ONLINE. Blog. Facebook. email. MyFamily.com. A dream come true for me, to hide behind the screen and have written words and photos stand in place of my actual presence and voice. As my online life grows, I'll pay attention to my real, live, in person life as well. Conversations. Phone calls. Coffee dates. The "can't talk, need time to blog, email, FB" excuse will not leave my lips.

• STRIKE A BALANCE BETWEEN the HERE & NOW and the UP & COMING. I already find myself saying things like, "well, when we're in Vienna I'll go to the museum more...." as if the Bay Area has a dearth of art and culture to explore. Don't forget where I am, don't put off life thinking too far into the future and looking for greener grass.

• LEARN GERMAN. Oh yeah, that small thing.

So, a bit daunted but strangely exhilarated.... I say Frohes Neues Jahr & Alles Gute zum Geburtstag.....Happy New Year & Happy Birthday.....to me! Next year's birthday indulgence may just very well be Sacher Torte.

P.S. For those of you wondering, the passport application has been submit. Deadline met!

Photo: Cheesecake Factory

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Warum nicht?

Warum nicht?

By far, the most common response to our "We're moving to Vienna!" announcement to date is some version of the question "why?" It usually follows the statement - "That's so exciting" or "Wow, what great news" - but it's never far behind. And it makes me nervous.

How could such a simple question, "why?" give me pause, cause me to stammer "um" and "uh"? Because I'm not sure that even I know the full answer to the question, so how can I explain it to others? And because I'm not sure the answers I do have will strike everyone as logical or reasonable. And I very much like to be seen as logical and reasonable.

Why move? Why Vienna?

• For a job? No, neither of us received a job offer in Vienna. The decision to go came first, the job search will come second (or third, or fourth).

• Why Vienna, of all the places in the world? Because we found out we know people who know people there. And we heard that it's a good city to start in if we need to slip into speaking English at times to get by. See - there is the reasonableness, the logic. Very practical. Connections and communication.

• But why move at all? To experience a different culture. I have this idea (perhaps a romanticized idea, but anecdotes from others seem to confirm it) that life in Europe, even in a larger European city, is different from life in America. I haven't experienced anything other than life in America and I feel at a loss for that. I want to know more. More than a 2 week vacation could teach me.
  

• We're not anchored where we are right now by careers or children or a mortgage. And so, it seemed like a good time to explore. Together.

• And, well, have you seen pictures of Vienna? Read about the architecture, the music, the history? It sounds (and looks) like such a rich, magical place, and everyone I've talked to who's been there gets this dreamy look and thrill in their voice that's hard to ignore. I had never thought twice about the city before this began, but now I can't imagine going anywhere else.

So, while there are many other reasons that will probably show up in later posts, my short, sweet, simple answer to the query, "why?" is, from now on...

Warum nicht. Why not.

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Step One: Obtain Passport

Step One: Obtain Passport

That is correct. I am planning a big, fat international move and I have never been outside the United States!

Well, that's not completely true. My father was in the Air Force, stationed in Germany, so my folks married there and I (along with my younger brother) was born there. But we left when I was very little and no memories serve. Unfortunately, neither do my traveling papers from that time.

This task is quite simple to complete and doesn't actually set me on a path from which there is no return. It's a good idea to have a passport, whether I'm moving or not. I've always thought that, but never quite got around to getting one "just because". Now, getting that document has taken on much greater meaning as the first "official" step toward Vienna.

So, simple it may be, but an easy task to put off. A few weeks ago I set myself a deadline. My birthday - get those photos, fill out the form, wait in line, and get the application in by my birthday. My birthday is now 7 days away. And two of those days are weekend days. Yikes.

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Turning Excitement into Exploration

Turning Excitement into Exploration

At the moment, the Vienna move doesn't seem real. I imagine I'll go through this often throughout the year, but maybe disbelief will mark only this first phase, before anything has really been done or decided or scheduled. When it's still a lot of talk and not a lot of actual doing.

In fact, rolling thoughts of these "doings" over and over in my mind paralyzes me sometimes.

I had a bit of a panic attack earlier this week because the possibility of finding work, obtaining work visas and a residence permit seems just plain out of reach. And without these, there is no move. I got a bit doomsday about the whole thing and Kiefer had to talk me back from the "there's no point, there's no way, it's too hard and we'll never make it work" ledge. I like to think of myself as an optimist, but short bursts of extreme cynicism are the way I maintain a rose-colored outlook for the long haul. So, I don't know what that makes me. A cynoptimist? What we've realized, thankfully, is that while we each have these bouts of disbelief and doubt, they seem to come at different times. When I'm negative, K is positive and vice versa, so we keep each other on track.

So how to bring myself back around? I work well in phases, with time-lines. I need some sort of structure and purpose and tasks to put on a To Do list to make things real and manageable. Is there a name I can give this phase? This pre-planning phase in which it's too early to look for an actual job or an apartment, but necessary to think about it? What about the Too-Early-to-get-Freaked-Out-Just-Start-Planning-and-Researching-and-Trust-that-We-Will-Find-our-Way phase? Or, the Remember-that-Just-Because-We-Don't-Have-All-the-Answers-Today-Doesn't-Mean-it-isn't-Going-to-Happen phase? Or, maybe we're in the Turning Excitement into Exploration"phase.

Yes. I think I can work with that. Today, we're in the Turning Excitement into Exploration phase and we get to focus on building relationships, making connections and learning German - things we can do today. See, rose-colored glasses are back on.

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